A quiet afternoon turned into fiery chaos when Karel DeToot, a bald tourist from Belgium, caused the most devastating wildfires in Los Angeles history. Standing near Griffith Observatory after a heavy meal of bean stew and Brussels sprouts, Karel released what he called “a harmless fart.”
In a bold move, The Ritz Carlton is now The Rizz Carlton, aiming to attract Gen Z with a rizzy new name.
CEO Charles Rizzberg says, “We’re making timeless luxury more rizzy.” Guests will find “Rizz Kits” with TikTok ring lights, viral playlists, and all the rizzy vibes.
Continue reading “The Ritz Carlton Rebrands as The Rizz Carlton to Bet on Gen Z”
In a jaw-dropping twist that feels more like a Lifetime movie than reality, Gypsy Rose-Blanchard, known for her involvement in the shocking murder of her overbearing mother, has announced herself as an unexpected contender for the 2024 presidency.
Continue reading “Gypsy Rose-Blanchard Announces 2024 Presidential Campaign”
Believe it or not, there is a committee making strides to ban lawn signs.
Tim St. Augustine, the president of the Ban All Legal Lawn Signs (BALLS) committee, has taken to the streets to ban lawn signs of any kind.
Continue reading “Protest to Ban Lawn Signs Picks Up Steam”
With a 12% increase of homicides in Los Angeles in 2021 and wave of thefts plaguing the city, the Los Angeles City Council and police have lost complete control. The residents of Los Angeles have reached their breaking point after 17 train cars from a Union Pacific train were derailed at a location where cargo thefts have been occurring for months.
Continue reading “Batman Denies Callings to Save Los Angeles”
On Tuesday, the Federal Dogjump Association, FDA, announced its all-time champion will be stripped of its championship titles. Guss, a 6 year-old Chocolate Labrador Retriever, will have to surrender his three championship trophies, gold plated water bowls, and coveted collars.
Continue reading “Champion Dog Jumper Loses Accolades Over Sexual Assault Allegations”
In an effort to increase his international fame, Kim Jong-un will be changing his last name to ‘Kardashian’.
Kardashian, the last name of a well-known U.S. socialite family, will officially be recognized as Jong-un’s new last name during a military ceremony in the capital, Pyongyang.
The National Junior College Association has released its ranking of the top 25 Junior colleges in the U.S. Based off academic and athletic merits, the publication assessed institutions across the country. Nestling in at No. 12, Michigan State University found its spot.
Continue reading “Michigan State Ranks Amongst the Top 25 Junior Colleges in the U.S.”
Mexico’s Department of Wildlife (MDW) has announced it will be changing the name of the native rattlesnake to ‘Maracasnake’ with the hopes of accomplishing absolutely nothing. Continue reading “Mexico Changes Name of ‘Rattlesnake’ to ‘Maracasnake’”
Decades-old yearbook photos are obligating politicians to give half-assed apologies for dressing up as Confederates, Nazis and black people at racist frat parties across Southern states. Continue reading “Some Politician Somewhere Half-Heartedly Regrets Photos From Racist Frat Party”
The Hampton Herald 